Mistakes to Avoid When Considering Divorce
5 Common mistakes and how to avoid them
Never an easy decision, divorce creates a lot to think about. Thoughts of the family, the affect on the kids, and money can overwhelming . Fortunately, if you are considering a divorce, there are people and resources out there to help make sense of the transition and the process. Despite these tools, there are still a few common mistakes people make while thinking about divorce.
1. Cutting corners on thinking it through. Instead of resorting to the ultimate resolution to your problems, really buckle down and think about what it is that is making you feel this way. It is undoubtedly an emotional decision, but you need to think with clarity and a touch of wisdom about relationships. Maybe it is not a bad marriage that is making you feel the urge to run – perhaps deeper desires or unspoken wishes have disguised themselves within your relationship. It may seem like a swift resolution, but divorce may not be the answer to feelings of boredom, or lack of communication. Certainly, issues like physical or emotional abuse, gambling or drug abuse are more concrete reasons; however, it is best to really delve into the other reasons to avoid regret in the future.
2. Prepare for the exit before you start the discussion. Once you have definitively sorted through feelings and made the choice, facing your spouse can be an intimidating hurdle. Even when you know someone, it can be hard to gauge the reaction. Sort through what you have in the household, such as items in the home, your important paperwork or records, and consider establishing a separate checking account. If you are serious about making the move, it should not be considered sneaky to do so; these are important when considering your future as an individual.
3. Meet with a financial planner before the process begins. Being thoroughly informed about the value of your assets will ensure smarter negotiations and the best result possible. There may be more potential or affordability in maintaining some assets in lieu of others. Educating yourself on the real value (or lack thereof) could prevent years of regret. Prior to mediation or conferences, meeting with a financial advisor will iron out major kinks before they can happen.
4. Don’t wait until the damage is done to begin repairs. Finding someone to help reel in and manage emotions can spare a lot of unnecessary anguish during mediation or conferences. Having the pain and emotion somewhat managed during the process can help neutralize discussions that are intended to achieve a purpose. It is cheaper and healthier to have a support system to keep your head on straight during the process, rather than afterwards. A support system of understanding friends or professionals may help alleviate the motivation behind stonewalling negotiations or mediation.
5. Less time at work or quitting your job. Just an all around bad idea, “willful underemployment" has nothing but negative consequences. Generally, the frequent perpetrators of this approach are those who earn more money than their spouse. In the hopes of reducing alimony or child support, the spouse skips out on work or quits. Judges can see through this approach and you may end up paying the same amount with smaller paychecks – causing the exact opposite of the intended outcome.
The list can go on, as everyone’s needs and situations vary. It is not always clear or easy to make the decision to get a divorce; however, armed with the right tools, you can make it happen without causing peripheral damage emotionally and financially. You will inevitably have to rely on others to get through this process, and it is important to choose wisely. Bucks County divorce attorneys of the Law Offices of Michael Kuldiner, P.C. relate to their clients and foster an environment of constructive communication.
If you are considering divorce, call our office to schedule a consultation with an attorney. If you have an existing divorce action and aren’t sure where it is going, we can provide the succinct and direct breakdown of how to get you on the other side of this hurdle. Submit an inquiry form or call (215) 942-2100 today.